A real fan is special.
A real fan is excludes rather then includes.
A real fan demands others prove themselves worthy of sharing in the enjoyment of something they love.
A real fan will quiz others to exclude them, but will not be quizzed themselves.
A real fan knows everything about their fandom, anything they don't know isn't worth knowing.
A real fan has watched every episode, read every book, played every game, enjoyed every movie.
A real fan waves off the importance of any episode they haven't seen.
A real fan never excludes themselves.
Bigger fan of the original show? Don't need to watch all the reboot episodes, reboot episodes are for phonies.
Bigger fan of the reboot? Don't need to watch the all original episodes, the special effects sucked anyway.
Watched all one thousand episodes? All the real fans have watched all one thousand episodes. In order.
Old enough to have watched a movie when it first hit the theatres even though you were only a year old? Excellent. Make that the new requirement. Fuck over everyone younger then you.
Live in the country the show is made in? Was a fan of one of the actors before they were in the show? Oh yeah, you know what to do.
A real fan will use having watched something an actor was in before they were in a show to build themselves up.
A real fan will use watching something an actor is in after having watched them in something else to tear others down.
Watched The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy before BBC Sherlock? "Right on"
Watched The Hobbit movie after watching BBC Sherlock? "You fucking fake" See, it's that easy.
A real fan dismisses the opinion of others if they don't agree with their own.
A real fan will use disagreement as a means to further clarify who is or is not a real fan.
A real fan doesn't know the difference between excuses and explanations.
A real fan doesn't know the difference between critics and haters.
A real fan's word is law, and they rule other a kingdom of three or four, five tops like minded people. There were more but they watched an episode the day after it aired and that's a no-no.
Real fans are a closed society doomed to extinction from the very start by their own rules.
If all the Real Fans have to have watched the first episode the first day it aired, then the total viewership for that episode is the maximum amount of Real Fans that can ever exist.
The viewership of the show can increase, the amount of "fake fans" can increase but the amount of Real Fans cannot.
It can only decrease as people stop watching, have to record an episode because of work, or are unable to learn every single little bit of nit-picky trivia about the show.
The show will get renewed season after season off the backs of the phonies. They'll make movie after successful movie off the backs of the phonies. They release new comics because of the phonies. Have conventions because of the phonies.
Worse the companies have no problem selling comics to the phonies, letting phonies take up precious seats in theatres, letting them into conventions without having to write a thirty-page essay on the importance of episode twenty on the main characters development.
The "fake fans" don't mind being fake fans, they watch the show because they love it not because they've watched it since the beginning. The companies don't care who is handing them the money. The content creators sure don't care who likes their work, so long as they do. The only ones who care are the Real Fans.
No wonder the Real Fans are so damn pissed off. They're dying off and they're irrelevant. Double ouchie.
No wonder they have to quiz everyone they see in a Superman shirt. That's the only power and influence they have.
But you don't have to take my word for it, based on those rules I'm not a Real Fan of anything I love.
And they still let me meet Leonard Nimoy.
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I was reading this journal awhile ago about the whole fake fan thing and how we as a community of fans need to get off our high horses and start including people instead of excluding them for nit-picky little bitchy reasons, and there was this one comment that really stuck with me.
The comment was by this person that completely agreed with the journal, that the whole fake fan was crap, that we're all fans here and we shouldn't exclude people, shouldn't quiz them or look down on new fans, etc but.....
There's always a but isn't there? Their but was that it wasn't fair that they a fan who has watched all two hundred episodes of something have to share the title of fan with another person who has only watched ten episodes (so far!), blah blah, blah, piss, whine, moan.
I didn't reply to them because I couldn't come up with a polite way of phrasing 'Fuck you, you snivelling little infant. It's not enough that you love the show, that you've watched every single episode and that you're looking forward to more, you need a special title and gold star next to your name for doing it before someone else? You're the fandoms goodwill ambassador and that's how you feel about new fans discovering the show you love? Sonofabitch. Don't worry that sort of attitude doesn't disqualify you as a fan but it sure disqualifies you as a decent human being.'
And that type of comment isn't going to help anyone.
The fact is is that every fan gets to act as the goodwill ambassador for their fandom whether they like it or not. The new fans that approach them are either going to remember them as the welcoming face that was happy that they'd shown up or the asshat that looked down their nose at them for not showing up sooner.
Don't be that asshat.
